I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm not entirely positive why I've been so depressed lately. I really don't have a very good reason to be if I spend any time thinking about it. Things are about to get so much better for me; I truly have so many things to be looking forward to.
After Anton died last year, it seems as if my life came to a halt, and now I'm about to start picking up the pieces again -- I have a plan for the first time in so long, a plan to finally get my life back on track. A plan to take a much needed vacation, and come back rejuvenated and refreshed, ready to take on the world again. A plan to finally finish my last year of school so I can start thinking about law schools or possibly graduate schools. I have plans! I have my very life to look forward to!
Yet this deep sadness has been with me for weeks now... and who am I kidding; I know exactly why it's been with me. However, it's so stupid, and I'm so ashamed of myself for feeling this way that I just can't bring myself articulate it. Besides, the last thing I want to do is to give these ridiculous feelings any legitimacy by vocalizing them.They don't even deserve that much. It's stupid; this entire thing is absolutely mind-numbingly retarded, and I will not allow myself to feel anything for what should represent nothing to me.
I just need a few days to relegate this shit back to the hole from which it came. I can do this.
No comments:
Post a Comment