I got high in Trent's car last night before going to Ground Zero and wound up having a terrible time -- at least, until Angie showed up around 11-12 pm. Not sure if there's a correlation between smoking right before we got there and the fact that I almost couldn't stand myself for being a part of such a large crowd of utter losers, but there may well be, seeing as how I'm well known for being overly critical and analytical whilst stoned.
Luckily, Angie showed up, and her friends were actually pretty cool, especially the guy dressed as, get this, a retard with a raging boner, not shitting you. That was one of the best costumes I saw all night, football helmet, dirty clothes and all. More importantly, however, were the three conversations I had following my lame experience that truly caused me to reconsider BDSM as a whole; with Angie, my brother, and Gabrielle earlier today.
After speaking with Angie and my brother, I started to reconsider just how into BDSM I really am. It was only after speaking with Gabrielle that I started to reconsider even that.
See, after having spent so much time around all these submissive types, I just grew repulsed with the whole thing. I hate to say this, and it sounds so mean, I know, but I think my experience with Trent has been traumatizing me toward the all of it, and Gabrielle really helped me put that into perspective today. I realized that, for as much as I like being the more dominant one in a relationship, I don't really want that all the time.
Plainly stated, I just can't really respect anyone as submissive as Trent is...
Then I started thinking that I must be a switch. And then Angie and I observed that BDSM'ers tend to let that aspect of their sexuality define them. It's as if the fact that they're into BDSM shapes their very existence! While my sexuality is certainly a large part of who I am, there's so much more to me then what Tamara is like in the bedroom...
To put it bluntly, sure I love to dominate; however, I do not like most subs. They annoy the fuck out of me.
Oh, and I don't really have a list of fetishes or anything. I just like to fuck twenty four hours a day everyday. I don't really care for putting on an act; I just like to fuck, lol.
